"Love's Response"

So then, why would His commandments be grievous to me? Could it be that I am not loving Him back enough? 'To whom much is given, much is required' could be the answers I am looking for; because, if God has forgiven me much more than I should ever need, how then should I be able to love Him enough? In reality, God does not love one person above another, although it may appear to be the case; but the picture we see is the persons response to God's Love, which gives those watching the assumption that God is loving them more than them. Do you actually think that Jesus loved John more than Peter? Although John referred to himself, as the Disciple whom Jesus loved; it was John's love for Jesus which brought this conclusion into John's heart, as well as the others: as Peter asked, "Lord, and what shall this man do?"; which was in response to Jesus telling Peter the manor of death he must suffer, and Peter wanting to know what would happen to the Disciple whom Jesus loved (John 21:19-22). May I be bold enough also, to lay something out there that may or may not be received with great comfort; but the love which we have towards God greatly effects the amount of God's Love that we receive. That being said, I must remind you, that it is not that God is loving you more, but that you are receiving more of His Love, and the response to His Love is fanning the flames. Which again, is much like the love a wife will have towards her husband; where the husband is called to love his wife as Christ loved the church, yet the wife is called to reverence her husband (Ephesians 5:33). This reverence word has a way of twisting the Scripture to suit someones ego, because in the simplest definition, the word means to fear; which would not go over well with most wives. However, in the context of what Paul is saying about how the church is to reverence Christ, which is in response to the Love of Christ for the church; this word reverence, is more of a responding love, or a being in awe of the love that is given. (I so wish I had loved my wife this much 8 years ago...)