"How Low Do I Go?"

"For my life is spent with grief, and my years with sighing: my strength faileth because of my iniquity, and my bones are consumed." (Psalms 31:10) Now I know that this does not happen to anyone else but me, but there are sometimes when I remember something I did or said, and I literally groan in my spirit; as if to say, How could I? Actually, I am pretty sure any of us that have some any kind of a heart do the same thing; but isn't odd how something you never really thought much about doing or saying, gets triggered by something else, and is brought to the forefront of you mind, making you see your foolishness in another light. You can only pray that everyone else saw your actions as you first might have, and really did not pay them much attention; but in all honesty, it is God that you must really be concerned about! Again, I have James on my mind, and how often he must have had these little remembrances of growing up with a brother that was actually his Lord. Jude also was in the household, but for some reason, he was more focused on any false doctrines about Jesus, and not so interested in the actions of our foolishness towards others. When it comes to how much God loves us, and how much He has given of Himself for our foolishness that we live out in our daily lives, how low do I go sometimes, as I escape from His presence, and play in the world? Oh, you have never done that? Well, good for you; and I really mean, Good Fore You! Because you are obviously far more equipped as a saint then I am; because I get bored easily, and when I get bored, I look for ways to entertain myself. However, the thing that I often forget to realize, is that I am never out of His presence!!! Oh, you did not know that? I'm sorry; I thought everyone knew that God knows all and He sees all; and there is nothing that is hidden from His All-Seeing-Eyes!!! Having realized that little forgotten fact, there is truly a lot of stuff to sigh about; maybe even a little groaning in our spirit; so much so, that our bones actually begin to feel weak and strained. It is truly important that we keep the proper perspective of our position in relationship with God, because we are a broken vessel that has been restored, and there are more weak spots in this vessel then I often realize... "Then said I, Woe is me! for I am undone; because I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips: for mine eyes have seen the King, the LORD of hosts." (Isaiah 6:5)