"Sorrow Within"

"Thou feedest them with the bread of tears; and givest them tears to drink in great measure." (Psalms 80:5) As much as I would like to say that I have it all together, I am more of a wreck than I am anything else; if I wasn't working at least twelve hours a day, then I would probably be on some sort of medication. Work seems to be a way to cope, as odd as that might sound, it just makes me focus on something I know how to do, so I don't have to deal with the reality of my love life, or lack thereof. Is sorrow a good thing? Whatever happen to counting it all joy? That's the weirdness of it all! On the one hand I am full of sorrow in regards to this life, but on the other hand I am filled with joy for that which is to come. I actually groan inside; the more time goes on, the more frequent I seem to groan. But it's a good groan; or at least I think that it is; at least I can feel myself smiling after, as I think about all the good things to come. You would not believe how many times I get asked, How do you do it? I wish I could say that I say something like, 'Jesus gives me the strength,' or, 'God keeps me going;' but to be perfectly honest, I usually say, 'I'm just doing what I promised I would do.' We can never really expect to be used of God, if we are not willing to suffer some sort of discomfort in this life. I don't care what kind of ministry you are in, if you're always comfortable doing what you are doing, then you're not letting God use you fully. I know that some might disagree with that prognosis, but it pretty much comes down to trusting God. How do you know that you really trust Him, if you never really get a chance to practice your trust in Him? The way I see it, we all have our cross to bear; and it's that cross which produces the sorrow, even sometimes agony; but it is also that cross which brings us joy, unspeakable joy! It is our cross the brings into fellowship with the suffering of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, and for that, we count it all joy...
"I once thought these were valuable, but now I consider them worthless because of what Christ has done. Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ and become one with him. I no longer count on my own righteousness through obeying the law; rather, I become righteous through faith in Christ. For God's way of making us right with himself depends on faith. I want to know Christ and experience the mighty power that raised him from the dead. I want to suffer with him, sharing in his death, so that one way or another I will experience the resurrection from the dead!" (Philippians 3:7-11) NLT