I have been known to be a little mule-headed, so you might need to cut me a little slack when it comes to trying to stay on course. If you know anything about David's great sin against Uriah, then you should relate to the tone of his heart. David never needed to be reminded of his sin; it haunted him for pretty much the rest of his life. So much so, that he failed to be the kind of father that he could have been, if he was not so conflicted by his own sinful heart. To be perfectly honest, this is something that is near and dear to my heart as well. So many times I have had opportunities to get into the ministry, but have allowed my failures to dictate my ability to allow God to use my life. The more I think about it, it was not just the failures that made it hard, it was the lack of victories. When we look at the life of someone like David, how do we compare some of his victories with the kind of victories we are faced with? I have never really gone up against a giant, as David did with Goliath; so it is really hard for me to even compare myself to him. On the overhand, I have never done anything as bad as he did to Uriah, so I guess I should be happy with my mediocre life. I guess what it is that God is trying to show me, is that on a scale of good and bad, we are all pretty much the same. If you get right down to it, the harder you have fallen, the greater the victory; or the greater the victory, the harder you can fall. This is not a contest, so we really do not want to try and make it one. The point to all of this is that we allow God to do in us what He wants to do, and let Him have the glory. Don't try to make more out of it than it actually is and remain humble; that is what I see happening. This is David asking God to continue to use his life, and to have the people that fear God see that he is being used; to not only take notice, but to keep him in their prayers and speak of the way God is still using him, despite his ability to fall. When it comes to God's testimonies, He can make a donkey speak, so He can surely use someone like me...
"I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has given me strength to do his work. He considered me trustworthy and appointed me to serve him, even though I used to blaspheme the name of Christ. In my insolence, I persecuted his people. But God had mercy on me because I did it in ignorance and unbelief. Oh, how generous and gracious our Lord was! He filled me with the faith and love that come from Christ Jesus. This is a trustworthy saying and everyone should accept it: "Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners" -and I am the worst of them all. But God had mercy on me so that Christ Jesus could use me as a prime example of his great patience with even the worst sinners. Then others will realize that they too, can believe in him and receive eternal life. All honor and glory to God forever and ever! He is the eternal King, the unseen one who never dies; he alone is God. Amen." (1 Timothy 1:12-17) NLT
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