"Insurrection"

"They search out iniquities; they accomplish a diligent search: both the inward thought of every one of them, and the heart, is deep." (Psalms 64:6) Don't ask, because I have no idea. For all I know, God wants me to see something buried deep in my heart; but this is the title that I heard from somewhere, and I am hoping it was from Him. The meaning of the word, "insurrection", is that of revolt, uprising, rebellion, or rising; it's primary meaning is that of organized opposition to authority, or a conflict in which one fraction tries to wrest control from another. Now, I don't want to seem overly cautious, but do you think that there is connection between that definition and Romans 7? Because if that be the case, I think I just stepped on a landmine! If you stop and think about what is being suggested (maybe not within the context of this verse, but what is being suggested in my heart,) I have far more defeats in my memories than I do victories. Actually, if I were to line them up together, I don't think they would even come close; it would be considerably offset, and rather embarrassing. It really does not take being a Bible scholar to see how these comparisons can hinder our ability to completely trust in God, especially when it comes to His protection; not unless we surrender all of our understanding to the act of justification. But it's not all that easy to do; don't you know? He might not remember all the bad things that I have done, but I sure do, and they hurt! This Sunday I heard something in the message that need to repeat, which was the difference between joy and happiness: "Joy is chosen; happiness is caused." Looking back at all the terrible things I have done will not cause me any happiness whatsoever; but looking at what Jesus has done to remove all those terrible things from my life, that makes me choose joy! John uses this "joy" in the opening chapter of 1 John, as he makes the point of writing the things that he writes, "that your joy may be full." I guess the point that God is trying to make, is how, if we lack joy in our lives as a believer in Christ Jesus, then there is "insurrection" taking place in our hearts; meaning that we are letting our defeats take away from the victory that Christ has won, which is tantamount to a revolt against the authority of Jesus Christ and His finished work upon the cross...
"So, my dear brothers and sisters, this is the point: You died to the power of the law when you died with Christ. And now you are united with the One who raised from the dead. As a result, we can produce a harvest of good deeds for God. When we were controlled by our old nature, sinful desires were at work within us, and the law aroused these evil desires that produced a harvest of sinful deeds, resulting in death. But now we have been released from the law, for we died to it and are no longer captive to its power. Now we can serve God, not in the old way of obeying the letter of the law, but in the new way of living in the Spirit." (Romans 7:4-6)