"Deficiency of the Heart"

 "That which is crooked cannot be made straight: and that which is wanting cannot be numbered." (Ecclesiastes 1:15 KJV) 

  ""Why don't people say to God, 'I have sinned, but I will sin no more'? Or 'I don't know what evil I have done - tell me. If I have done wrong, I will stop at once'?"" (Job 34:31-32 NLT)

 How is it that we cannot see what is lacking in ourselves? Why don't we try harder to stop doing the wicked things we hold onto, as if they can't be stopped? Having been serving the Lord as long as I have, it still isn't easy to try not to sin! As a matter of fact, when I focus on trying not to sin, it seems that there is some kind of magnetic force that causes me to do it anyway, sometimes repeatedly, without even trying. 

 The hardest thing for me to do, is to not judge others. I say to myself, "I will not judge why someone has done this or that?" but then, no sooner as I say it, I am judging them wrongly, almost as if my mind turns from judging to condemning, without even giving it a second thought. 

 That might not seem like such a terrible sin, but it probably is not a bad as backbiting or speaking behind someone's back, or spreading gossip about someone, without really knowing the truth! Actually, they are both very wrong, because it is basically a form of hate! No one thinks ill of someone or tries to hurt someone's character, without first feeling hate towards them, in one form or another. 

 What was it that made Cain kill his brother, Able? Envy! Cain did wrong, but Able did right; and it was something that Cain couldn't stand, it couldn't be undone, even though he didn't really do what was right! What can we do to undo what has been done? 

 When I first became a Christian, I think I rededicated my life to the Lord at least six or seven times; and that was within the span of six or eight months! I kept thinking that I had missed something somewhere, hoping to somehow get it right. Several times, both Marianne and I went forward, repenting before the Lord, feeling guilty, like, for having an argument in the church parking lot. 

 Now that I have matured, (which really means that I have gotten use to my sin,) I feel as though there is something more important than focusing on the things which are wrong; instead, I must focus upon that which is right. Basically, we have this hole in our heart that needs to be filled. When we accepted the Lord into our heart, He closed the gap; but we still have to have this empty space totally filled! 

 Just to put your mind at ease, that will not happen in these temporal bodies, so if your concerned about the lack of godliness, just know that you aren't all that different from anyone else! We are like the toys we had, decades ago: Weeble Wobbles, but they don't fall down! Just get over it and continue to put as much as what is right into your heart, as you possibly can. 

 Pray more often, read God's word frequently and throughout the day, and share your heart with as many people as you can, letting the Spirit flow through you, not letting yourself become stagnant! Sing this song, within yourself: "I've got a river of life flowing out of me; It makes the lame to walk and the blind to see. It opens prison doors, sets the captives free. I've got a river of life flowing out of me." 

 I know, silly as it might sound, but it actually works...

""No one can serve two masters. For you will hate one and love the other; you will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money. "That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life - whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn't life more than food, and your body more than clothing? Look at the birds. They don't plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren't you far more valuable to him than they are? Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? "And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don't work or make their clothing, yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith? "So don't worry about these things, saying, 'What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?' These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. "So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today."" (Matthew 6:24-34 NLT)