"Say What You Will"

"For they persecute him whom thou hast smitten; and they talk to the grief of those whom thou hast wounded." (Psalms 69:26) In an attempt to be at least to Psalms 72 by the end of December, I have stepped it up a little; although, I am feeling a little conflicted in my spirit about trying to rush through anything that God wants me to hear or say. At church yesterday, Pastor Bryan mentioned a quote by A.W. Tozer, twice in one message. The quote is not very pleasant to take in, but it pretty much speaks truth about God's strength in weakness, and His victories that are born out of destruction. Here is the quote: "It is doubtful whether God can bless a man greatly until He has hurt him deeply." I thought about this quite a bit yesterday, and even into the night, and it would appear that this is pretty much spot on; even though it hurts to think about the reality of what it puts forth, it makes perfect sense in light of many very passionate believers. Now I really don't want to attempt to be considered a part of this, but I surely can relate to the just of what is being said. I do not believe I could take another day without Jesus being in my life, because my life hurts more than I stand it some days. Originally I had started this blog because of a friend who's wife was dying from cancer. I might not have been totally aware of what I was getting myself into, but I am committed none the less. In fact, I have vowed in my heart to continue this all the way to the end; the end being the final chapter of my marriage. For most people in my position, the marriage would have been considered over years ago; they would have moved on by now, and would have put away their spouse, or handed them over to someone else to care for. But that is not what I vowed I would do! With that, I have come to know something about being blessed greatly in the deepest of hurts; it might not rise to the occasion of people like Horatio Spafford, but the general idea is still the same. My hurt just keeps repeating itself over and over! Some days I feel perfectly fine and focused on the task at hand; other days, I feel such heartache inside; not for myself, because at this point I do not care about that, but for my wife and her condition. I really don't expect the average person to understand where I am coming from, but it's really not about me and my situation; it's about God doing something special in the worst circumstances. To the average person it might appear as though it's a curse or judgement being poured out, but to those that trust in God it is purification. God knows what is best for my life, no matter what that might appear to others, or even some days to myself; we must believe that God is in control of every situation and every circumstance that He allows us to go through; no matter how harsh it might appear to be, or how long it might last, it's for the good. Man, that is hard to figure out some days...
"All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. It is by His great mercy that we have been born again, because God raised Him from the dead. Now we live with great expectation, and we have a priceless inheritance - an inheritance that is kept in heaven for you, pure and undefiled, beyond the reach of change and decay. And through your faith, God is protecting you by His power until you receive this salvation, which is ready to be revealed on the last day for all to see. So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while. These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold - though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world. You love Him even though you have never seen Him. Though you do not see Him now, you trust Him; and you rejoice with a glorious, inexpressible joy. The reward for trusting Him will be the salvation of your souls." (1 Peter 1:3-9) NLT