"And whatsoever mine eyes desired I kept not from them, I withheld not my heart from any joy; for my heart rejoiced in all my labour: and this was my portion of all my labour." (Ecclesiastes 2:10 KJV)
"HE - Teach me your decrees, O LORD; I will keep them to the end. Give me understanding and I will obey your instructions; I will put them into practice with all my heart. Make me walk along the path of your commands, for that is where my happiness is found. Give me an eagerness for your laws, rather than a love for money! Turn my eyes from worthless things, and give me life through your word. Reassure me of your promise, made to those who fear you. Help me abandon my shameful ways; for your regulations are good. I long to obey your commandments! Renew my life with your goodness." (PSALM 119:33-40 NLT)
Oh my, this might be interesting, so say the least! If you have ever been overcome by desire, then you might be somewhat familiar with the feeling you get that it is yours, you deserve it, and nothing is going to hold you back from having it, no matter what! You choose the poison; just about anything fits the mold, it just needs to be something that fills your fleshly desires!
From my own experience, if I know that it is wrong, and I want it anyways, there will be some sort of barrier or wall that God will throw in the way; mostly for an opportunity for me to change my heart, not go through with it, or come to my senses. Sometimes it worked, and sometimes it did not! Sad to say, if God locked the door, I would find a key; if He put up a wall, I would find a way over it; if He turned off the power, I would find another source. You name it, if it was something preventing me from filling my desire, it would not keep me from making it happen.
Maybe that is not something you have ever dealt with? If that's so, Good for you! But for those that have, you know what it is like to feel totally and completely ashamed, once your desire has been fulfilled! We fall on our knees, begging God to forgive us; making all sorts of promises, most of which, we will not keep!
If there is one thing that I have learned, in these forty-plus years: the only One who really keeps a promise is God! As I said before, and I will say it again: I pray just about every morning for God to give me patience and an understanding heart; but no sooner than I can make it happen, I fail the test, and will judge, get upset, or say something that I did not want to say!
You tend to think that your broken and need to go back to the beginning and start all over! Thinking that there was something you overlooked in the manual, a part got left out, or you just need to be made over! Well, if that is the case, stop and let God have full control! That is what He wanted from the very beginning, to be the One you listen to and follow His directions!
It is really all about compromise! Just a little bit of variation to His plan, becomes a large complication to following His commands! How far back do you need to go, in order to find your way? That is not the way to deal with anything! Turn away from all of that, and just move forward, in love...
"So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won't be doing what your sinful nature craves. The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants. And the Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly fighting each other, so you are not free to carry out your good intentions. But when you are directed by the Spirit, you are not under obligation to the law of Moses." (Galatians 5:16-18 NLT)
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